in LOVE or NOT??

21 February 2009:

Today, I had to wake up early..not that EARLY but still, it's early..

we had a MARKETING TEST this morning..

and well, its quite easy memandangkan semalam struggle habis bace notes sampai saket kepale...

last night, I had spent a good amount of quality time with my course partner or would rather call her as my TWINS as I was the one who is nearly-soo-identical to her..

we had a discussion on marketing and as usual it will always turn into a gossip, secrets revealed and many other stories that have nothing to do with marketing..

zuryn a.k.a nuna was and still become a good friend of mine when it comes to study..

including ajushhi a.k.a wan a.k.a bf nuna..

I love how their relationship turns from a friend to a good friend and now a happy couple..

sometimes rase bler tgh wat group discussion, trase mcm menyibuk je..

but then they were both soo nice to me, they never left me out in anything that they do..

kalau boleh nak heret sekali bler dorg pergi date..

haish!

I'm happy to see them happy!!

As for me, I'm still with the title :

single unmarried lady with a very definite plan about her future which she herself can't predict

[yes, what a long title I had...]

currently having a good free relationship with someone who she feels comfortable enough to let her tears, laughter, babble, plan, and her sarcarstic joke to...

met him when we were both in the same driving school..

funny how I first thought who he was...

and funny how I hate the way he approach me as a friend...

*I'm not used to a person came up to me and say "Hi!"

and we were both apart for several month after a few harsh argument...

then one day he was the one who contact me back

and from there we became a very very good friends..

hurmmmm...

crush? a lil'...but not much...

he had the same too..till now..

but I was afraid to say anything..

well, past experience do teach me not to involve in some trouble anymore..

still being haunted with past bitter experience which affect me till now..

but good thing is, he always do understand me the way who I am..

well, sometimes he could be someone that annoyed me too much and sometimes he become a shoulder to cry on..

now, he's learning to understand me better..

and learn to be better..

his efforts sometimes do touch me..

his greatest effort soo far was the one that happened nearly a year now and he still continuing it..

a great man who know what he wants and clearly understands what will happen in the future.

Breathless..countless...~

I'm in...!!!!
well2...dis past few weeks/month was totally a hectic weeks/month ever in my life
dat is why the gap between my last post and dis is about one month apart..

1st thing first..
I'm just start out my new semester here at Jengka again on the last week of december..
the only place where I could find the meaning of total serenity, peace, calm in the life of mine..
place where I could express my true feeling..
where I could easily feel the presence of those who truly love me for who I am..
place for me to miss those precious moment that can't be count even with a million ringgit..
I was glad to be back here again and at the same time I felt a bit hahahahaha[boring]..
well, maybe for the fact that I was spending way tooooo much time at home for last sem break, now I'm missing them too much now!!
and I've just set my foot here again after the mid sem break last 2 week..

Tomorrow (8 February 2009), I'll be spending the whole morning listen to the talk from someone I don't really remember to know them anyway..
(doesn't matter anyway...I might dozz off at the very beginning though.. ;p)
Today was fun in every aspect...
we had dis some kind of a "reunion" for the July intake 2008 student..
not really a reunion, its just some program dat we're forced to come to..
or else we'll be "sue" and bla bla bla...
at 1st I thought it must be boring..
and did not expect it will turn out dat great, until I found myself laughing my heart out and enjoying myself throughout the modul..
It's fun to get to know most of them..they're just fun to be friend with..
nothing more would I expect..

I think its enough with soo cheerful life of mine..
this is why I love Jengka soo much..
it can distract me from the many problem I'm in now..

1st: I was soo positive that both of my 'heart' and 'soul' have some kind of unsolved argument which I think I'm the one who need to solve it with them..I was too lonely now to be left alone without both of them..
can't they consider this for me?for the sake of our true friendship?just for once?
it's hard to keep staring at the ring everytime and keep blaming myself for not look out for both of you..
he felt betrayed..
she felt guilty..
~'afh'~
would it come back to normal again?
can we hanging out together again like we used to before?
I was hoping for it...
no! I'm looking forward to...!!
to have my 'heart' and my 'soul' back together...

2nd: I'm having some kind of dream...more of a nightmare I think...it keeps coming every night and I was having a sleepless night for 3days now..
waking up 4 in the morning, to find my roommates were sleeping..
this same face's of someone I recognized every now and then..
I don't really know what was HE doing in my 'dream'..
surely I'm not dreaming or wanting to dream about HIM now..
not after the incident..
talk dis over to my mom..
surely mama knows better..she just know how to soothe me..
I just can't imagine life without her..
whatever it is, whatever thing that HE did in my dream was not something I should worry much..maybe I was entering the very crucial phase of erasing HIM..
or maybe...better not say it...

3rd: The unrelevent problems of mine...having a hard time to control myself towards my new obsession..hahahaha!!
Twilight sure give me a new lights in my life...
I was and still obssesed with this breathtaking vampire,
Edward Cullen and also The Cullens..
sure none of this is making any sense..
it's a fantasy, not a reality..
and I found myself more comfortable living in this fantasy life I've created myself..
rather than facing the rough reality outside...
but seriously...its bothering for me to not knowing about what happen in the 3rd book of the Twilight Saga or the 4th..and I'm planning a weekends off to the bookstore to spend an amount just to buy the 'not-soo-new' series of the book..
and spend like 2/3 days just to finish it..
another way of distracting myself from the problems..

It's fun to know that I was getting better and better in this distract-ur mind-program..
don't know where it will lead me to..
sure it will lead me to something good..hope soo..
guess dats all for now..

wow!!quite impressive on how much I could write today..
sure I have stored enough story to pour half of them out...
but not all..
save the best for last..
hahahahahaha~

and, special thanks for those who read my blog every now and then..
keep reading and supporting..
thanks from the very bottom of my heart..
look forward to my new post soon..
I'll be excited enough to know there is someone out there reading for my new update..
Thanks, Terima Kasih, Xie Xie, Kahamsamnida, Arigato gozaimasu!!


and not to forget to those who criticise me...
thank you soo much..
guess dis is my blog and I would just write what I loved too..
none of ur business if it's a crap or what..
like it = read it
hate it = ignore it

till next time..!!
^______^

p/s: this blog supposed being published on 7th February 2009...bcoz of a technical problems I
had, I have to repost it back...Thank you!~